yuerstruly

To be honest, I didn’t read that many books in 2023, and I most definitely read less Chinese characters than I did in 2022. That being said, I did get to walk away from most of my reads with thoughts, which is always a good thing. In total, I finished 10 books. It isn’t much, but there were a few others I tried out and simply didn’t make the cut. All reviews contain spoilers to some degree, but for sections where I thought spoilers were unsuitable, I tried to keep it vague. This is because I feel like spoilers shouldn’t take away from the experience of getting to know a story, and if it does, maybe it wasn’t that well-written.

In order, books I finished:

1. Know My Name by Chanel Miller. This is a memoir about the Stanford University sexual assault case that happened in 2015, identified by People v. Turner. A friend put the memoir on my radar in 2022 through compiling a list of books by the genre “sad”. Though I’d known of the case as it was one of the biggest things talked about throughout my time in middle and high school when it came to court cases, I was never actually aware of the memoir. For obvious reasons, I won’t be rating it, but I must say, it is a gut wrenching read. It is also hard to get through. It is painful and daunting, not only because of the topic itself, but because of its location. Because I grew up in the Bay, I feel that some of the descriptions pertaining to the area hit a lot harder. The memoir itself is well structured and easy to follow, with the case itself followed by everything after—the dreaded waiting for Miller, then facing the public, to standing in court. I highly recommend it, but also want everyone who would like to give it a try to tread with caution.
2. Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner. I was initially excited about this memoir as I had read The New Yorker essay and been hit by streams of tears. While not a unique diaspora experience, it made me reflect on my times with my mother and what I would do if I had to live without her. I tried to imagine the world I would be living in without my mother and it hurt. However, the memoir as a whole seems to deviate from the original essay. I think that, had this stayed on track with the essay, it would have been a more compelling read. I was more invested in Zauner’s loss of her mother and how it intersected with her perception of her heritage, but was hit with other relationships and occurrences I didn’t care about. Much of the writing didn’t click with me, and it felt structurally unorganized. As an Asian American, this also very much did not feel like a book that simply shared experiences. It seemed to overexplain a lot of cultural/ethnic occurrences, as if the audience was assumed to be white. I do not expect any two diaspora to have identical experiences, nor will I expect one of mixed heritage to deal with their own identity the same way as someone who is fully Asian. However, the memoir stopped telling a story, and started catering to an audience meant to give praise no matter how badly it might be written. That audience is not me.
3. Dynasty of Beasts (CN: 禽兽王朝) by Yao Yi Chang An (CN: 遥亿长安). My first baihe of the year and probably a memorable one for years to come. It’s one of many samples that add to my theory that tragedies, although a daunting genre to both read and write, often have better written endings. Dynasty of Beasts is a political tragedy that follows Gao Che, who’s concealed her identity as a woman her entire life, and her journey to the throne. Her mother figure, Dugu Yuanzhen, is the empress, but Gao Che doesn’t care about that; she’ll steal the empress from her father if that’s what she must do. The novel references Northern Qi and Liu Song, ancient Chinese dynasties from the 5th century. I must give it praise for the way it handles ethnic conflict. Northern Qi was built upon both Han and Xianbei cultures, and this novel speaks from the Xianbei people’s point of view at the time. I was, at first, conflicted with the Han praise and Xianbei degradation, but after scouring the internet, I learned that, although they were ruled by mostly Xianbei people, they seemed to look up to Han culture and lifestyle. On the other hand, many sought to preserve Xianbei culture, which allows for insightful conflict within the novel. The main character, Gao Che, is also thoroughly fucked up. She is ruthless to the point that when she is revealed as a woman to some of the people closest to her, even they are disgusted. Despite my disgust with Gao Che in the later chapters, she is definitely a compelling character and stands out from her siblings, as she is both If you are looking for a fucked up political baihe novel that isn’t glaringly racist, I would definitely recommend this!
4. The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. Possibly my lightest read of the year! I feel like I don’t have as many thoughts because it didn’t impact me as hard, but I will say it’s a decent enough book. I wouldn’t say it’s absolutely amazing, but I also don’t think it’s as bad as some people make it out to be. I think the biggest thing here was perspective. Nora Seed is obviously miserable and it was nice to see her experience all the whatifs, but I feel like I wasn’t that invested in the character or the story itself.
5. Her Mountain, Her Sea (CN: 她的山，她的海) by Fu Hua (CN: 扶华). This novel is probably the first I’ve read with focus on school, which really isn’t my thing, especially if I’m looking for a novel to read. Still, I gave this title a try because it’s one of the most popular baihe novels. While the first 80% of the book was pretty good with solid character and relationship development, the story took a few unexpected turns, which I feel like didn’t add much purpose to the story. They were jarring and didn’t fit with the tone of the rest of the novel. Fu Hua, did, however, give a nice little happy ending, one I found fitting for the leads. I would recommend this to anyone who’d like a short novel with decent characters and wholesome friendships in youth!
6. Neuromancer by William Gibson. Ooh, this one is a little hard to review. It’s an early science fiction piece that imagines the world of technology differently than what surrounds us today, but given the time period, it’s hard to critique it for its outdated imagination. He may be a writer, but he’s no tech expert, unlike Neal Stephenson, who wrote Snow Crash (which I’ll go into more detail about in the “books I might come back to” section). Neuromancer was mainly an investment for me on the account that a danmei author was writing a cyberbunk baihe and my friend had somehow convinced me I should translate her upcoming novel. I wouldn’t say I regret the choice, but it was hard to get through at times. To begin with, Gibson’s writing style isn’t particularly up my alley, and some of the way in which he imagines technology is blurred and hard to follow. Structurally, the story isn’t that hard to follow and it’s good insight into the beginning stages of cyberpunk as a genre. It has, of course, come a long way since then. On the other hand, I have found the cishet male POV to be something I cannot really get through. It’s what deterred my reading, but this issue is not unique to Neuromancer; it seems to be common in hard science fiction. There’s also the fact that characterization falls flat, which seems to be yet another common occurrence in hard science fiction. It is, however, more tolerable given that much of hard science fiction and the subgenre cyberpunk focuses much more on the world we live in, the critiques, and the imagination. Is this a work of literary merit? Yes, for sure. Would I recommend this to other people? Only if you tread with caution.
7. This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar, Max Gladstone. This is probably the phenomenon of the year. I liked it, but I also hated it. I actually liked the worldbuilding and what it was trying to do, and as someone who is more tolerable of purple prose than the average reader (as in, people who regularly read books for purpose and not head empty reading), I was able to get through it. However, the prose didn’t serve much, and its mission to sound romantic failed in my eyes. I also disliked the ending because it was a resolution of nothing. After all they’d done, everything seemed to be thrown to the side in favor of romance. Had this book been a tad bit longer, I feel like they could’ve written a much more compelling resolution. Last but not least, I don’t know who’s calling this peak lesbian romance, but it’s not. Gender is pretty much meaningless in here, so I’m not sure how it can be called “peak lesbian romance”.
8. Minister Xie (CN: 谢相) by Ruo Hua Ci Shu (CN: 若花辞树). The first few chapters blew me out of the water. I don’t know how else to describe it. The author puts so much effort into outlining the education of Liu Zao, the main character, I almost wish she hadn’t done it because a tone shift happens in the writing to propel the plot. Still, I very much appreciated the author’s historically and culturally accurate representations, taken straight from the Han Dynasty. She retells Emperor Xuan’s story through Liu Zao’s political journey, of course, taking some liberties. I find it fascinating because although I know surface level information of the Han Dynasty, I definitely do not know much about Emperor Xuan or what he does. Thank you for the history lessons, Ruo Hua Ci Shu! Now, while I appreciate the author’s work and find the character growth of Liu Zao to be well written, the romance development seems to fall short on the Xie Yi’s end, who is the love interest. I don’t believe a story told from one POV means romance development should be stunted, and the one extra of Xie Yi’s point of view feels like a cheap cop out that doesn’t seem to add much to the original story. There are also some questionable resolutions when it comes to checks and balances. I feel it puts the author’s setup at the beginning to shame because she demonstrated her knowledge on the Han court and the education system at the time, but changing the court system to give a position meant to rule the rear palace more power in the imperial court just because you love someone ruins the whole point of the system.
9. Boy Parts by Eliza Clark. Queer horror and toxic relationships is the TLDR for this book. I feel the first half is not as evident in explicit horror, but the way everything is framed insinuates the events that follow. Irina, the main character, is bisexual. Her subject of interest throughout the story is men, but she doesn’t seem like a straight person. I don’t know, vibes, I guess. To be honest, I didn’t like her at all. I don’t think she’s meant to be liked. But I finished the book because her character made me invested in the story and her somehow, and for all the fucked up things she was doing and wanted to do, I wanted to know more. If you’re not into toxic relationships and fucked people, don’t bother reading. This isn’t a place to argue morals either; it’s horror and the events that snowball fall into place to make the story what it is. I recommend this to those who would be interested in such a story, if you can handle it!
10. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Undoubtedly a literary classic. I feel like I don’t actually have much to say, not because I disliked it but because I read more than half of this on vacation. But Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are both compelling character (to me), and I always laughed at their interactions, even if some of the misunderstandings sounded silly. Sometimes we just need to have fun! I also had an adjustment period to the language just because it was so stylistically different from the last thing I read, but I find it worth getting through. Besides, every girl needs to have read one Jane Austen in her life, at least according to my mother.

Books I will continue reading:

1. Time-Limited Hunt (CN: 限时狩猎) by Tang Jiu Qing (CN: 唐酒卿). I feel like I don’t actually have much to say because I’ve read a whopping total of five chapters, but I enjoy T97’s writing style and the worldbuilding is straightforward and gradual rather than a sudden info dump. I’m also obsessed with Shi Shanyan. He is very much a pervert and I imagine him constantly giving Yan Junxun bedroom eyes. The reason I never got past five chapters is because I kept trying to read this while waiting in line for food and whatnot and it simply did not work like I intended it to.

Books I might come back to:

1. The Abandoned (CN: 弃仙) by Mu Feng Qing Nian (CN: 沐枫轻年). This toxic and horny baihe xianxia has a total of seven sections. I dropped it at the beginning of volume 4. I found this novel to be so fast-paced I was shocked the author even managed to keep it up for three volumes. After that, it drops and the characterization starts falling flat for me. The author does well weaving in plot twists and worldbuilding. She introduces and reintroduces concepts without making it sound repetitive, and I find it sufficient enough for any casual reader to remember the setup, especially since xianxia worldbuilding can vary from novel to novel. She also introduces enough characters that most, if not all, are memorable, even if their “screen time” is one chapter. That takes skill. So, yeah, it was honestly really well crafted until volume 4, but I find myself wanting to go back to it nowadays after watching an absolutely terrible show (and managing to finish it). I’ll get there. Someday. Hopefully.
2. Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson. The other cyberpunk classic, released just short of a decade later than Neuromancer. Unlike Gibson, who’s just a writer, Neal Stephenson actually knows about tech. This comes useful because I find his descriptions much easier to follow, whereas for Gibson, I felt like words were being thrown together in an attempt to describe the imagination. However, Neal Stephenson is not a great writer. I was 10 chapters in and still felt like the story was going nowhere, despite feeling like the main plot was introduced to me. It just wasn’t moving. I couldn’t invest myself in the story. Neal Stephenson also commits the typical hard sci-fi crime of writing a very cishet man as a main character. I simply don’t care about them like that! Whether I go back to this book really depends on my mood, but if I do, it’d mainly be for literary merit and genre research.

Books I didn’t and probably won’t finish:

1. Pat Me On the Back (CN: 帮我拍拍) by Qi Xiao Huang Shu (CN: 七小皇叔). I have beef with the author. Why did she introduce a character that’s from a historical time period, plop her into the main character’s apartment, and then not make her the love interest? I mean, this girl is the first beside the main character that we get to know, and she ends up being one of the main characters anyway. I read a total of 10 chapters and I frankly do not care about the couple in this, but I will maybe check out the book centering around Xiang Wan, the girl I expected to be the love interest for this novel! (I didn’t look at the description for the novel before clicking on it.)